most of what I’m about to say is real, so don’t judge me. Listen, I’m not dumb – I just can’t, with other people’s shenanigans. Soo, I do some shady stuff for money. Yes, I’m a real massage therapist, and yes, this really is based on my life. But details have been altered to protect both the table-humpers and the guilty. You know who you are! But sadly, and more importantly, I know who you are.
This is my confessional, because my therapist said if I don’t tell someone what happens at luxurious The Sky Spa, I might literally explode one day.