(3) Smurfed

I’m over it. That didn’t take very long, did it? Mom, you were right! Massage is for lazy people who don’t have the guts to get into prostitution and don’t want to use their brains and get a real education. Are you happy? Are! You! Happy! Seems like this spa and I are in a very dysfunctional relationship, and I’ve made it to the one week mark. Time to move on!

(2) And That’s How It’s Done, Newbie

So in the past five days, I’ve learned the two most important things you have to master in order to be a luxury spa massage therapist – smiling and apologizing. Master them both if you plan on both paying rent and eating actual food for dinner every night.

(1) The Sky’s the Limit

You know something, I should have suspected there was something special about The Sky when I first walked into the couple’s room with the softcore porn music playing in the background. Super classy! No wonder they call it The Sly. I didn’t know it at the time, but this was exactly what I needed to start over. This was where everything in my life was about to change.

In the Name of Karma,

most of what I’m about to say is real, so don’t judge me. Listen, I’m not dumb – I just can’t, with other people’s shenanigans. Soo, I do some shady stuff for money. Yes, I’m a real massage therapist, and yes, this really is based on my life. But details have been altered to protect…